Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 113
Chapter 6: High School Years 113 explained. Both sons and daughters can be made aware that marriage has been prescribed by Allah Almighty and that it is, in fact, another means of fulfilling one ’ s duty to Him. Islam stresses the importance of remaining chaste before marriage and therefore encourages early marriage. Thus, parents themselves need to be amenable to the idea of early marriage for their children and not delay in looking for a match for the sake of pursuing higher education, or the concern that their child is not financially secure. The process of looking for a future spouse and the qualities required in a spouse should be openly and frequently discussed with teenagers, so that the need to look for good morals and character rather than looks, money or lineage can be fostered in their minds. Many teens growing up in this society where cousin marriages are not accepted, also reject marrying within their own family, but parents should explain the benefits of such matches and encourage their children to consider them where possible. The family of the Promised Messiah (as) provides the best living examples of successful in-family marriages. In addition, girls should be encouraged to be flexible so they do not limit their choice to boys raised in the same country nor disparage Ahmadi Muslim boys from another country or culture. However, the Islamic teachings of finding a match that fit with a person ’ s culture and lifestyle are not to be ignored. It should be kept in mind that first and foremost, children look to their parents ’ marriage as a role model. Parents have to show love, trust and respect to each other and show their children how to resolve conflicts through good communication instead of with raised voices, violence and anger. This will also set the tone about how children will interact with their spouses. Respect for family relationships also teaches children good interactive skills.