A Letter to a Dear One — Page 92
92 Letter to a Dear One respectful and compliant towards them. Similarly the wife has a rightful expectation that her parents are treated in kind. The Holy Qur’ ā n enjoins, R ãIÁMÃG¾G“ |I − R ö O Z H áM¦I› R ãHÁG ö [2:229], that women’s rights are similar to their duties. It is not correct for the husband to enjoy all his rights but fall short of fulfilling her rights. Allah the Almighty enjoins to “consort with them in kindness. ” The Holy Prophet ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “The best of you are those who behave best towards their wives. ” The Holy Prophet ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said about the treatment of women, “Woman has been created from a rib and the most crooked part of the rib is the uppermost. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked. So treat women kindly. ” When two people are meant to spend the rest of their lives together, there is bound to be disagreement and it is also possible that some habits are disliked by each other. Allah the Almighty enjoins not to do haste in such temporary matters and factors that are not to one’s liking. One should appreciate that Allah the Almighty has some wisdom in the fact that certain things are disagreeable to you or if you find something most desirable, it is detrimental to you. When being aware of something you do not like, just remember the hundreds of things that you find pleasing. It is said about mutual relationship that Allah has put love in your hearts so that you find comfort from each other. As I have said it before, the marital relationship should be based on piety. Just as it is important to have good intention and to take care to carry out other natural requisites—like when one is hungry one eats food. However, gluttony can lead to digestive problems and ill health. Similarly, congruous marital relations are an excellent disposition; beyond their limitations is mere carnality, which can affect one’s morals and spirituality. It is important for the husband not to hurt his wife’s feelings. This is the most delicate of all human relations and its early days are indeed the most susceptible. It is therefore important that husband and wife