A Letter to a Dear One — Page 90
90 Letter to a Dear One and woman is a natural requisite and emotion. Like other natural emotions, in itself this emotion is neither good nor bad. Rather the ‘occasion’ and the intention to carry this requisite out, makes it permissible or non-permissible. Islam has laid out the Nik ā h as the limitations of its occasion. In short, it means that there is no lawful impediment between a man and a woman, for example, there is no prohibition over their Nik ā h or the woman is not already in Nik ā h with someone else. To establish piety and to carry forth the human race, they decide to form a permanent marital relationship. This proposal and consent is made in front of witnesses. The consent is then announced and a dowry is fixed which the man has to pay his wife, which is announced as well. These are legal and Islamic conditions that are the building blocks of this relationship. However, without a spiritual connection, this relationship, like the others, cannot attain its true objectives. The conditions mentioned above certainly satisfy what is decreed, however, to achieve ‘piety,’ Islam makes some further explanations. Regarding the choice of a wife, the Holy Prophet ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said that some people are mindful of wealth, some family respectability and some beauty in this respect. However, a believer should be mindful of the factors that enable the completion of the spiritual requisites in this matter. His intention should be based on piety. The Holy Qur’ ā n enjoins the believers to choose a spouse with piety in mind and to be mindful of the factors one is basing one’s future on. The Holy Prophet’s ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) point was not to consider wealth, family respectability or beauty as wrong, rather, the object was that a person’s intention in making this choice should be the fulfillment of spiritual matters and the choice should be made on this viewpoint. Other factors should only be given their due importance. For example, wealth should be a factor only in the context that the husband is able to afford to keep his wife in suitable circumstances. If he cannot do so, then the Qur’ ā n enjoins that he should wait for better circumstances with chastity. As far as appearance is concerned, of course it is important that both the husband and wife like each other and one partner should not be disgusted at the sight of the other; the Holy Qur’ ā n enjoins to marry women that one likes. It is important to keep in mind the family factor in the sense that both the parties come from a