Understanding Islam — Page 149
147 abusive ways, the husband is commanded next to proceed to the stage of temporarily forsaking sexual relations with his wife. This particular step is in fact the key to the process of reconciliation. It is very likely that during this period of time, the feelings of erstwhile emotional ties, and memories of earlier happy experiences together, would lead them both to lowering their egos and reconciling without letting the situation get worse and further escalate. In the case that such temporary cessation of sexual relations does not bring about reconciliation and the wife continues in a manner that is abusive, injurious to the relationship, and goes to the extent of seeking another man, the husband is given permission to take a physical action in a limited and contained way, to try to protect the family from break-up based on what is manifested as rebelliousness that may well be possible to address. This is a sort of ‘last ditch effort’ for the husband to not just sit idly by while his spouse is veering towards an extra-marital arrangement. This is the n- th degree scenario , not a common prescription to be adopted in everyday disagreements in family life.