Understanding Islam — Page 147
145 find peace of mind in them, and He has put love and tenderness between you. In that surely are Signs for a people who reflect. 22 O ye who believe! it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will; nor should you detain them wrongfully that you may take away part of that which you have given them, except that they be guilty of a flagrant evil; and consort with them in kindness; and if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing wherein Allah has placed much good. 23 The above words in particular lay down a key principle in dealings between husband and wife: consort with them in kindness. The key word, translated as kindness, is ma‘r ū f , which according to Lane’s Lexicon means “that which is accepted by all parties as good and beneficial” or “that which is acknowledged as beneficial by all”. It means that a husband should interact with his wife in a manner that is recognized by her as acceptable and agreeable, thus rendering the relationship consensual.