Understanding Islam — Page 142
ARE WOMEN VIOLENTLY OPPRESSED IN ISLAM? 140 is destructive to a healthy, loving relationship, and insists on it, is disobedient, expresses hatred, and even physically abuses or injures the husband, the Quran instructs the husband at this stage to not immediately resort to chastisement, even lightly. Instead, he is instructed to adopt a step-based approach that can take days, or even weeks to implement effectively. This form of restraint and patience that the husband is expected to demonstrate, in reaction to an abusive wife, is a unique form of teaching that cannot be found anywhere else. The steps that the husband is instructed to take are as follows 18 : 1. If the wife’s behavior is nush ū z , the first step for the husband is to advise and admonish her. He is not allowed to chastise her. What is important to note here is that the length of time or number of times are not specified. No one can claim that the Quran specifies a number of attempts to advise before proceeding to the next step. In this sense, this step can take a long period of time, and step