Truth About the Split — Page 236
236 had to pass in order to attain to its present height cannot realise the mental agony through which Ahmadis passed in those days. With the exception of a few selfish individuals, the whole of the Community, no matter what beliefs or doctrines they held was, as it were, in a state of living death. Every one of us seemed to prefer that he and his kith and kin should be put to death with the most cruel tortures rather than that they should cause a dissension in the ranks of the Community. That day the earth, in spite of its wide expanse, seemed all too cramped for us and life, in spite of all its comforts, seemed worse to us than death. As the night advanced and morning drew near, my restlessness increased and 1 moaned and prayed to God, saying "Lord; it is true I have preferred one opinion to another. Nevertheless, my Lord, 1 do not wish to be one of the faithless. Be Thou my guide, and lead me to the right course. I desire not to prefer my own opinion. I seek the Truth, and long for the Right. " In the course of my prayers I resolved that if God did not vouchsafe to me any reply I would not attend the meeting and save myself from being a party to any dissension. When my resolution reached this stage, the door of Divine mercy opened. God covered me with the mantle of His grace, and the following words involuntarily came upon my lips: