A Sign of Allah - Chaudhry Muhammad Zafrulla Khan — Page 26
A Sign of Allah 26 assessment of what he believed was the sum and substance of his accomplishments and the status he had achieved. …Other than regret and sorrow, I have achieved nothing. I often ponder, “is this even a life [worth liv - ing] in which other than earning a living, one has no time to spare for anything else?” He is writing this despite wholeheartedly fulfilling all of the responsibilities as the Am i r [for the Ahmadiyya Jam a ‘at] of Lahore at the time. …And that a person remains wholly entrapped in worldly affairs, engrossed in various types of sins. Today, the news of the fortunate Hadrat Naimatullah Khan’s death and meeting with God, his True Lover, arrived. With this news, therein my heart there developed an extreme anguish, the thought also occurred that, ‘this is your chance to bring your wasteful life to some use by presenting yourself for the service of Truth in the land of Afghanistan. ’ Then I suddenly paused and pondered, ‘am I doing this merely to fulfill my ego’s desire to show off to others by presenting my name with the belief that I will not actually be sent?’ And I also went over in my mind all the difficulties and trials that would present themselves in this task and I challenged myself that,