Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 77
Chapter 4: Elementary School Years 77 child has done, nor the consequences, teach the child not to try to escape by lying. 2) The second principle that Hazrat Amman Jan (ra) always practiced was to trust her children. She used to say that a child should know that his parents trust him explicitly. This breeds self- confidence and self-respect in them and enhances their self-worth and self-image. They believe that their parents believe in them, so why would the world not believe in them? The Promised Messiah (as) never looked at his children with suspicion or distrust. He believed in his children and often expressed his trust in them. As a result, his children had such a high regard for this trust that they never wanted to do anything to betray his confidence or hide anything from him. He always listened very attentively to his children, as if a very important person is conversing. He admonished against constantly monitoring children. He used to say to tell children the boundaries and be aware of their activities but help them to develop an internal guard by trusting them. If you see something that needs to be corrected, then talk to them privately. Admonishing them in public makes them obstinate. 1) Hazrat Amman Jan (ra) would always inculcate the habit of obedience in her children. She says that if children have this habit then all training issues can be resolved and if this habit gets strong in childhood, it stays with them all their life. Hazrat Amman Jan (ra) further elaborates not to ask children constantly to do things, but once you ask them, make sure that they do listen to you. This inculcates the habit of obedience. Then she said, “ But do not bother them all the time. ” 2) The most important tool that Hazrat Amman Jan (ra) employed in the training of children was Dua or prayer. She would greatly stress on prayers. The Promised Messiah ’ s (as) life revolved