Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 10
10 Giving full attention to the Tarbiyat of her children means spending time with them; not just the time to feed, clothe, educate and generally care for them, but spending quality time with them and getting to know them as they develop into their own individual beings. There is no doubt that time is the most precious commodity in the world today; days speed by in a flurry of activities related to school, work, home and Jama ’ at. So, if one is not careful, the excuses made because of a perceived “ lack of time ” such as “ there ’ s no time to recite the Qur ’ an now, we ’ re late for school ” ; or “ I don ’ t have time to take them to class at the mosque, I have to catch up with housework, ” can become a way of life and thus deprive children of necessary Tarbiyat. It is essential to “ make ” the time to connect with one ’ s children, talk to them about what is going on in their lives, especially when they are apart from you, keep a vigilant eye on their comings and goings, know who their friends are, discuss with them the latest ‘ apps ’ or whatever technology they are using to communicate with each other and be ever watchful for any signs that they are succumbing to peer pressure. It is also very important for parents to set limits and boundaries and to show their children that they have trust in them to keep to the rules. At the same time, it is vital to maintain open and friendly communication with children so that they will turn to their parents when facing difficulties and challenges of their own. Let them know how much they are loved and how important they are as part of the family. With today ’ s busy lifestyle, making time to spend with children may require a mother to make some sacrifices of her time, especially when the children are very young. She may have to put aside some of her own interests and activities for a while. In his address to Lajna Ima ’ illah at the UK Jalsa Salana 2013, Huzoor (aba) warned Ahmadi Muslim mothers not to follow the trend of “ me time ” which is prevalent in the West i. e. , women wanting to do their “ own thing ” and thus neglecting their responsibilities.