Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 85
Chapter 5: Middle School Years 85 shirts and long pants when they are seven years old. If the sense of modesty is not ingrained in them from an early age, how can they expect these children to display modesty in their behavior and outlook when they are eleven or twelve years old? Similarly, boys also need to develop a sense of modesty in their attire, avoiding wearing shorts, or shirts with inappropriate logos and phrases and being respectably dressed for attending Jama ’ at events. Modesty is not only about attire but it is also about one ’ s demeanor and behavior. Both boys and girls should be taught about what the Islamic concept of Purdah and modesty entails and here it is the parent s ’ example that sets the tone. Children raised in homes where the principles of Purdah are consistently practiced, with separation of the genders in non - family sit uations , and with female members of the family regular in their wearing of coat and head - covering, will grow up considering this to be the norm and will more readily accept this teaching. Therefore, it is important that the parents ’ example should send a clear message that casual interaction between opposite genders is against Islamic teachings. In a society where free-mixing of the genders is the norm and dating is encouraged by non-Muslim parents, children should be taught as early as the elementary level that Islamic teaching does not allow Muslims to date or to have relationships prior to marriage. The wisdom behind these teachings should also be explained to them. Middle school age is a good time to begin encouraging daughters to take the next steps in observing Purdah and modesty by adding an outer knee-length jacket or coat and a scarf to their already modest attire. However, mothers have to remember that every child is different and each child may come to this stage at a different age. Wearing a hijab, coat or scarf requires courage and resolution on the part of the young girl, and more significantly, confidence in her