The Need for the Imam — Page 57
D ar u rat-ul-Imam 57 Book. What then do I learn here? Is it not enough for the satisfaction of my soul that I should study at home and be acclaimed by so many people? No, by God, never! I used to study and teach the Holy Quran and on Fridays I used to occupy the pulpit and delivered moving moral sermons, warning the congregation against Divine chastisement and admonishing them to keep away from sin, but my inner self would always reproach me: 55 I moved others to tears, but did not weep myself. I dis- suaded others from improper words and deeds, but never desisted from them myself. Since I was neither a hypocrite nor a selfish cheat, and the acquisition of fame and wealth was never my objective, these ideas crowded my mind whenever I had a moment to myself. But since I couldn’t see any way of reforming myself, and my faith wouldn’t let me be satisfied with such false rituals, I succumbed under these pressures and be- came seriously ill with heart-disease. Many a time I resolved to give up studying, teaching and preaching, but would eagerly return to devour books on ethics, 55 Why do you say what you do not do? Most hateful is it in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do. — Al- S aff , 61:3-4 [Publishers]