Malfuzat – Volume X — Page 240
Malfuzat - English translation of Urdu Volume 10 240 The fact is that some women cause grief to their mother-in- law only out of mischief. They abuse, harass, and torment them even in trivial matters. A mother does not become displeased with her son’s wife without a cause. In fact, the mother is the one who is most desirous of the success of her son’s married life. She has special interest in it. She gets her son married—praying all the while—spending thousands of rupees with great eager- ness. How can it even be imagined that she would quarrel with her son’s wife without a cause and desire to ruin his household? In such disputes, it is generally observed that often it is the mother who is in the right. It is also the ignorance and foolish- ness of the son that he says that his mother is displeased [with his wife] but that he is not. When his mother is upset, why does he say such words of disrespect that he is not displeased while his mother is? This is not a case of dispute between co-wives. If there is no religious reason for the dispute between his mother and his wife, why does he show such disrespect? If there is some other reason or basis, it should be immedi- ately rectified. If the mother is displeased for some issues con- cerning household expenditure and if he gives allowance to his wife for the household expenditure, then it is necessary that he should have expenses managed through his mother and hand over the entire management of the household to his mother. He should not make his mother dependent and subservient to his wife. Some women appear to be very gentle on the surface, but deep down they sting grievously. Therefore, the cause [of fric- tion] should be removed and the reason for the displeasure should be addressed, and the mother should be made happy. One should consider that if one makes the effort, even lions, wolves, and other beasts can be tamed and can become harm- less; friendships can be cultivated among enemies if one makes