A Letter to a Dear One — Page 95
Muhammad Zafrulla Khan 95 probability of some matters remaining incomplete and imperfect. This can cause anxiety and disquiet to the man and the woman, and will affect the upbringing of the children. Training of Children With the arrival of children, when a family unit is formed, the parents are directed to bring their children up with affection and tenderness whereas the children are directed to be obedient to parents and to respect them. As the children grow and the parents attain old age, the children should increase the expression of affection and love and should serve their parents in a most suitable way. The Holy Prophet ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) has taught us a most exquisite principle regarding the training of children and [unfortunately] not much attention is given to this aspect. He directed, Honor your children ; that is to say, along with love and affection, treat them with respect. This inculcates confidence in the children and musters courage, and they learn good morals and values easily. Alas, in our country [Indian subcontinent], the parents do not pay much attention to the training of the children. The mothers are sort of forced into this role to some extent but mostly the fathers shy away from this responsibility. They consider it enough to entrust the child to a teacher or a boarding school at young age, although nothing can replace parents’ personal attention. As a result, there is a sense of alienation between the parents and the offspring that cannot be removed at a later stage. A sort of a screen comes in between them, which suppresses the expression of the most natural of emotions. The children are thus deprived from a huge advantage and the parents, specially the fathers, are deprived of the most natural love that children have for their parents. The Holy Prophet ( ” allall ā hu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said that one who is not respectful to elders and is not affectionate and compassionate to the younger ones is not from among us. Although it is urged to treat the wife and children with extreme love and kindness, there is also a reminder not to let the love of one’s family make one oblivious to the remembrance of Allah. It is said that the family is like a trial for us. The analogy to a ‘trial’ connotes that the way one treats one’s family is a test in itself; lest one is negligent of one’s duties and is not mindful of piety in carrying out the duties. On the other hand, they are a ‘trial’ in