Hazrat Ahmad — Page 18
18. HADHRAT AHMAD matter had been disposed of, he was free once more to devote himself to the remembrance of God. . This was a period of conflict in his life. His father desired that he should either devote himself to the affairs of the family estate to take up some employment, while he was averse to both these courses. This often brought taunts and ridicule upon him. So long as his mother lived, she acted as a shield for him, but after she died, he was continuously rebuked by his father and his elder brother. They thought that his indifference towards worldly affairs was due to sloth. At times his father felt much distress and wondered how would he manage to make a living after his death. . The thought was painful to him that he should have to be dependent upon his brother. Sometimes his father would in his chagrin call him a mullah (village priest) and express his surprise how such a person could have been born in the family. Yet in his mind he entertained a degree of regard for his younger son and at moments when the memories of his worldly failures became acute, he would give expression to a feeling of satisfaction at the sight of his son's absorption in religious pursuits and would exclaim,: 'The real business of life is what this son of mine is engaged upon. But such moments were few, and since the whole of his life had been devoted to worldly purists, his prevailing mood was one of frustration. . The attitude of his father did not, however, affect the conduct of the son, who sometimes sat by his father and read out to him portions from the Quran and the Hadith. It was a remarkable sight. . Father and son were each set upon a different course and each aimed at winning the other over. The father wished by all possible means to persuade the son to adopt his view and to see him employed in seeking worldly advancement. The son desired to see his father freed from the dangerous shares of the world and imbued with the love of God. In short, that was a spectacle which it is not in the power of a pen to portray adequately. It must be left to everyone to picture it for himself according to his own fancy. . At this time the question of service was once more presented to Ahmad for consideration. There was a proposal to appoint him the head of the department of education in the State of Kapurthala. . He declined and decided in view of the growing difficulties and anxieties of his father, to stay with him at home and to lend him