Forty Gems of Beauty — Page 78
78 often, a wife’s wealth becomes a curse for the husband rather than a source of happiness. Truly, therefore, as the Holy Prophet (May peace and blessings of Allah be on him) has observed, the real foundations of family happiness and married bliss are laid on a wife’s religious piety and her good moral qualities. Very unlucky is the person who is after short-lived toys and gilded things in preference to solid qualities. The lasting good effect that a virtuous and good-natured wife exercises on children is a permanent gift which no sensible person who, in addition to his personal comfort, also has the welfare of his generations at heart, can afford to ignore. Clearly, the early upbringing of children is in the hands of the mother, for in a family, the child is naturally more attached to the mother, and is more free with her, and spends more of his time with her, while the father, on account of his various other duties, cannot devote much attention to the children. The early training of the children is thus mainly the responsibility of the mother. If, therefore, the mother is pious and of high character, the children will naturally be well-grounded in good morals. But if, on the contrary, a woman has neither piety nor morals, she can never succeed in imbuing the children with good morals and virtuous habits. The truth is that such a wife usually does not appreciate the value and necessity of religion and good morals. The Hadith under discussion, however, does not mean that, in selecting a spouse, all other considerations should be totally ignored. All that it means is that piety and moral excellence should be preferred. The Holy Prophet (May peace and blessings of Allah be on him) has, on other occasions, drawn attention to other considerations as well, for they too are, to a certain extent, instinctive urges of human nature. As for instance, in spite of strict instructions about the observation of seclusion in purdah by women, the Holy Prophet (May peace and blessings of Allah be on him) used to advise that one may have a glimpse of his wife-to-be so that after marriage he is not