Fazl-e-Umar — Page 38
Fazle Umar 38 days I am amazed to find what an unshakeable power of resolve I possessed at the time. I was only eleven, and there were yet a few years left of my childhood, but I kept that vow and I am keeping it still… “I do not know why I wept that day. A philosopher and a sceptic would say that my mood was brought on by some nervous breakdown – a religious man, on the other hand, would attribute it to the fear and love of God – but I, who passed through that experience am unable to assign any cause to it. I can only remember that I repeated my vow more and more fervently each time and wept more and more. But indeed how full of blessings has been that weeping of mine, and what abiding comfort has come to me from that grief to which I can assign no cause! “When I think of those tears I am convinced that they were not the result of hysteria. Then what were they? I am inclined to believe that they were the result of some rays of light from the sun of the spiritual world that had penetrated my heart: I believe they were the result of some words that fell from the lips of the Promised Messiah [as] , or perhaps they were due to some look from his eyes which fell on me. But if they were not due to these two things, I am unable to say where that flood came from. ” 19 P ROF OU n d L O v E F OR T H E C OM PA n IO n S OF T H E P ROM I SE d M E S SIA H [as] — T H E dE AT H OF H A d H R AT M AU L v I A b d U L K A R I M [ra] It was the nature of Hadhrat Sahibzada Sahib [ra] that if he loved someone, he also loved those who adored and served that person. His profound love for the Prom- ised Messiah [as] is evidenced by the fact that he was increasingly drawn towards those companions of the Promised Messiah [as] who were imbued with the love of