Blessings of Khilafat — Page 98
98 Problem of Tribal and Family Considerations Another problem in marriages is the tribal background. I am in favour of parity. The Promised Messiah as also stressed upon observing it. But there are limits for everything, and it is generally advisable to stay within those limits. Parity means a person matching one’s own living standard, way of life, morals, and, of course, piety and righteousness. For instance, should a rich man give away his daughter to a poor and famished person, it may be wise and appropriate as far as religion is concerned, but once the girl reaches her husband’s house the couple will have confrontations and disagreements with each other, for the girl will not get as much money to spend as she was used to. That is why it is important for every father to look for a person of similar position as compared to himself, so that the husband and wife do not keep on getting into disagreements due to the austerity; or so that the girl should not consider herself to be a victim of cruelty and unkindness. However, one should not be so overwhelmed with this precaution that everyone should start wishing to have his daughter married to the wealthiest man on earth, for then it would become impossible for the girls of the poor families to get married. Everyone should consider his own position first. If there is a proposed match in which the difference is tolerable, one should not hesitate to proceed with it. Complications arise only where differences are intolerable, as for example the marriage of the daughter of a rich man to a person who cannot even feed her satisfactorily even two times a day. In the same vein, it would be wrong on the part of a person who himself has no material comforts but desires his daughter to marry some high official. He should rather marry his daughter to a simple