Why Islam is my choice — Page 70
70 paying job. I was quite capable of taking care of myself, financially. However I wasted most of my money on alcohol and drugs. During this time I also got married and had two children. I must admit that the marriage did create some sense of responsibility in me, and I seemed to have found some direction in life. However, soon I left my wife and children for another woman. With this I got further deeply involved with alcohol and drugs, not to mention that I had never reduced the consumption of alcohol. I found myself depressed all the time. The only way I could see out of depression was to drown myself in alcohol. This had further deteriorated my condition. Some of my friends suggested that I should seek treatment for my condition. On my investigation, I found out that there was a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in town that was run by Brother Mu ẓ affar A ḥ mad Ẓ afar, our current N ā ’ib Am ī r I. I met with him and some other A ḥ mad ī Muslims. I was very impressed by all of them. They seem to show a genuine and deep rooted concern for me. These A ḥ mad ī friends started visiting me once a while and would talk to me about their religion. I liked these brothers so much that without much pondering, I thought that their religion must be true. On their insistence, I even accepted Isl ā m. However, my domestic life did not seem to be improving, and I had not quite started to follow the teachings of Isl ā m. My ex-wife had left the town after leaving the children with my mother. The other woman that I lived with was an alcoholic, and I was addicted to both drugs and alcohol. I remained extremely perturbed and nothing could provide me comfort. In 1978, one day, in my state of extreme anxiety, I suddenly remembered to turn to God for help. This thought was so powerful that I felt as if some external force was leading me into that direction. That day I prayed to God in my own way. This was the first time I prayed completely