Why Islam is my choice — Page 83
83 just prayed that I be permitted to pray at the N ū r Mosque. I imagined that to be a punishment for my sins which perhaps were so grave that All ā h did not will my entry into His sacred places. As I reached the mosque, shabbily dressed—and must have appeared to be insane—I was stopped by a gentleman in front of the main door of the mosque. He informed me that I was not supposed to enter the mosque. I was, naturally, very deeply shocked. My fear had come true, that All ā h did not want me to pray inside the mosque. I did not know what to do. I did not have any money that I could offer as a sacrifice. My fame, my worldly gains, my money, my talents, my friends and associations, all I had given up long ago. I did not seem to have any future. I had no goal in life, and any greed or hunger. All I had wanted was to be able to pray inside a mosque. I desperately tried to argue with the person who had stopped me but in vain. He did not budge one bit from his position. While I was faced with this dilemma, all of sudden a strange thought came to mind. I wanted to sacrifice my eyes for the sake of All ā h. I prayed to All ā h that I was prepared to blind myself if only He would accept that sacrifice and let me inside the mosque. Having said that prayer in my heart, I looked up and saw a sign pointing to the direction of the office. I quickly proceeded towards the office, but once again, the person at the door, refused to let me in. I had no doubt now, that it was all because of my appearance. I then repeated that prayer in my heart, and lo and behold, another man showed up at the door who was directly looking at me, came near me and inquired of me the purpose of my being there. I told him about my wish, i. e. , to be permitted inside the mosque to pray. To my utter surprise, he just let me in as if I had been denied my right. Al- Ḥ amdu Lill ā h. I had been inside the N ū r Mosque two or three times