Understanding Islam — Page 153
151 laying down a stepwise approach by which a man must act to demonstrate his displeasure in response to continuous and repeatedly hating and injurious behaviour from the wife. First, admonition is prescribed; secondly, the postponement of all sexual relations and thirdly, a man is permitted to make his displeasure clear through a physical act that does not cause explicit, or permanent, bodily harm. This is the strict limit within which a man is permitted to display his displeasure. Given that one in six men experience domestic violence even today in the UK, it is extremely important that the Holy Quran gives guidance on how a man should go about responding to abuse and violence, without recourse to a violent response at the very outset, which many men, unfortunately, may be prone to. By commanding men to respond in a stepwise approach, the Holy Quran diffuses the anger a man may be prone to, and channelizes it into ways that are more likely to bring about spousal reconciliation. As a result, this verse is a restriction, not a validation and open-ended permission for husbands to engage in spousal violence.