Pathway to Paradise — Page 50
PATH WAY TO PARADISE 50 society, where dating is the norm, and Islamic societies will clearly show that arranged marriages last longer and are more secure. The reason for this is that parents or guardians usually know their child’s character the best, and will try to choose a mate who is the most compatible. When a man and a woman are dating, there is the danger that the passions of the moment may overwhelm t heir reason and judgement. They may marry because of physical attraction only, and find incompatibilities in each other when it is too late. Physical attraction, or “being in love” can wear off quickly in the face of other problems and so lead to dissatisf action and eventual separation. On the other hand, in an arranged marriage, physical attraction plays a minor role, and couples do not enter into marriage with the same expectation of “romantic love,” but see it as a partnership where both have to make per sonal sacrifices and have to work at pleasing their mate. The gradual buildup of respect, trust and affection usually produces a bond between husband and wife which is stronger and more enduring than one based on physical attraction alone. No marriage can be arranged and entered into without the consent of both man and woman. However, the woman needs a guardian or representative for the arrangement. The purpose is to safeguard her rights and to maintain her modesty. Islam allows both the man and the woman to see and talk to each other before the marriage, with a chaperon present at these meetings. (See: Khalifatul Masih IV, Questions and answers, 6/21/92). If you have just accepted Islam and your parents are not Muslim, you will need to procure a guardian for yourself if you wish to be married. This can be done by either asking someone of