Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 185
Appendix 5: Talking About Homosexuality 185 social issues too, if they are to be fair about it and consistent, though increasingly, such is not the case. High School and College Years At this stage the conversation needs to be continued with more intellectual depth and an atmosphere of openness has to be fostered. As parents, we need to explain to children that reasons for same-sex attractions are not fully known. From those who work in the fields of social sciences and psychology, theories have been proposed, but it does not mean every individual situation can necessarily be explained. It should be noted that despite the oft-repeated dogma of being ‘ born that way ’ there is no empiric evidence homosexuality is hard-wired and biologically pre-determined in the genes. On the other hand, there is plenty of good evidence for psychological and socio- cultural factors as causative factors, with the possibility of some biologic inter-play influencing behavior secondarily and indirectly. Thus, respected professional psychological organizations state same- sex attractions originate out of a complex interaction of nature and nurture. According to one popular theory, same-sex attractions are actually a subtle and subconscious form of gender identity confusion since their same-sex attractions are contradicting their biologic gender. Males especially go through a particularly delicate stage of formation of gender identity starting in pre-pubertal ages, and many external factors may influence a boy developing his sense of masculinity. In effect, some males who develop same-sex attractions subconsciously associated themselves with females as ‘ fellow females ’ and considered other male friends around them as distant, even exotic and mysterious. Then as puberty kicks in, the ‘ exotic becomes erotic ’ and the boy seeks out that mysterious masculine element he never understood or properly acquired. These difficulties