Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 133
Chapter 7: College Years and Beyond 133 both mothers and fathers must be involved in training their children about marriage, as well as setting a good example in their own roles of husband and wife. The Holy Qur ’ an and Hadith provide basic, yet infallible, directions for marriage. The relationship between husband and wife is beautifully described in the Qur ’ an as “ garments for each other ” (2:188) and their roles within the partnership are clearly defined. Every aspect of married life, from conjugal relations to treatment of family and in-laws is covered. Hazrat Khalifatul-Masih V (aba) has spoken on all aspects of marriage in many of his addresses and the example and advice of Hazrat Amman Jan (ra) is also an invaluable source of inspiration. Discuss all these golden words of wisdom in a casual manner with your children as they enter into adulthood. Most of all, prayers to seek guidance from Allah are absolutely essential. In recent years, there has been an increase in marriages failing very quickly and very often it is due to a lack of Tarbiyat by the parents. Some of the problems being observed are lack of tolerance, inconsideration towards one another, being impatient and not giving marriage an honest chance to work, lack of accommodation of in- laws, negative interference by in-laws, getting married for the wrong reasons, e. g. for economic or immigration purposes. Help your children understand that when two people from two different families and backgrounds come together, there is bound to be an adjusting phase, which may create friction or conflict at times, but these issues can be resolved with patience and prayer, understanding and selflessness. In those difficult times, it is the job of parents and elders to remind the couple to take a step back and reflect upon the positive qualities of their spouse. Another recent development is that marriages seemed to be accompanied by more and more fanfare and a growing number of