Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 132
132 are living successful and prosperous lives. Never hesitate, show reluctance or be embarrassed to satisfy any questions raised by children regarding marriage. There should be open discussion as to what an arranged marriage constitutes, and the involvement of families from both sides. In the absence of such discussions, this would be perhaps the most difficult concept for young people to accept. Living in the permissive society of the West, where promiscuity is lauded in the media and any form of modesty is generally frowned upon, there is immense peer pressure and raised eyebrows, as it were, about arranged marriages. Proposals for marriage should be considered for both boys and girls and the following well-known Hadith should be kept in mind before choosing a spouse: “ A woman is married for four things, i. e. , her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So, you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be losers. ” 7. 13 The same Ahadith should be kept in mind while choosing a match for girls. Let it also be appreciated that an arranged marriage is not a forced marriage. The consent of both the girl and the boy is essential and the Nikah cannot be performed without it. It is not forbidden or frowned upon in Islam for a child to express a desire to their parents about marrying someone in particular. The Holy Qur ’ an does not prohibit a person to express their interest in someone as long as it is respectful and moral. Children can speak to their parents and suggest a match. However, it is important to remember that Ahmadi Muslims should marry Ahmadi Muslims, so the foremost preference would be to marry within the Jama ’ at. It is not only finding a match for their children that parents should be worrying about, but they should also be providing children guidelines for a successful and fulfilling married life. Here again, it is important to recognize that both boys and girls need this training. Therefore,