Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 110
110 daughters) to fly the nest, or to become depressed. If parents have given them the knowledge of what is right and wrong according to Islamic teachings, they can remind them that so-called extra ‘ freedom ’ brings greater responsibility on their shoulders. Remind them to ask the question, “ Will Allah be pleased with my choice right now? ” In fact, if some degree of ‘ giving rope ’ can be done at this age, teens are more likely to handle the college years ahead with better judgment. Teenage children also have a knack of challenging authority and focusing on parents ’ weaknesses. In a perfect world, parents would have no weaknesses, but reality can be a little different. If teenagers point at a weakness and they are right, then the boundaries of respect should be maintained and parents should not react poorly or accuse them of lying. Mutual respect and boundaries are really needed at this stage. Parents should admit their mistakes in front of their children and should work towards improvement as this teaches children to do the same. In addition, acknowledge the good in Western society such as religious tolerance, acceptance, community work etc. Teach children that good and bad exist in every society and culture, and that Islamic values can be found in every culture and society and are not confined to the East or the West. Habitual criticism, without a legitimate reason, of the very society where children are raised will lower the adult ’ s integrity in their eyes, especially when they see that un- Islamic practices have become prevalent in Eastern cultures also. Education and Career Counseling Depending on each individual child ’ s ability and temperament, the school, level of courses, teachers and so on, high school can be uncomplicated, or it can be an incredible challenge. Freshman year is a period of academic and social adjustment and may not pose a great