Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 89
Chapter 5: Middle School Years 89 are born and raised in the US. Many of the immigrant parents are unaware of the local culture or customs and have difficulty relating to their children who are associating with people of an entirely different background when they go to school. In spite of this gap, both parents should make an effort to communicate with their children and show them that they care. If parents instill a strong level of trust in their children, they will feel comfortable in talking about their day with their mothers and fathers. Dinner time is one of the best times to get the entire family together and use that opportunity to go over the day ’ s events. If the children feel secure about talking to their parents, they will open up and be happy to talk about everything. It is also crucial to listen to them and not to put them down if they say something that may seem irrelevant or unimportant. The days are often rushed and the mother may feel overwhelmed trying to get all the children ready for school. Even during these seemingly rushed times casual c onversations can be extremely helpful. It is a given fact that daughters feel more comfortable talking to the mothers and sons will incline to discuss important issues with the fathers. However, the channels of communication should be open in any direction. Actively listening to the children is a critical part of communication. Sometimes they do not need any advice but only want to share information. When a child is speaking, the parent should not be distracted. For example, doing the dishes while the son or daughter is talking is not considered active listening. Eye contact gives the child assurance that what he or she is saying is not falling on deaf ears. Allowing children to express themselves and have undivided attention from the parents will instill a great deal of trust and strengthen the relationship between parent and child. The Holy Prophet (saw) was an active listener even when dealing with those who opposed his teachings.