Paradise Under Your Feet — Page 108
108 them when they talk, and respect their feelings. Respect of teenagers means not treating them as children but as maturing adults, not talking down to them or humiliating and insulting them. It means involving them in useful activities around the home and seeking their opinions on matters of importance. Also, parents must keep in mind that constantly reprimanding their teenager and never giving him or her any justified praise can prove to be demoralizing. For every time parents discipline or correct their teen, they should try to compliment him or her twice. Spending more time with teenagers also enables parents to sense if there is something bothering them. They should not ignore it but address it directly with their teenager; they should do so in private to maintain the child ’ s dignity. The Holy Qur ’ an and Ahadith both lay great emphasis on respect and obedience for parents: مہٗ وَہۡنًا الۡانۡس َََّّانَ بوَالدَیۡہ ۚ حَمَلَتۡہا وَ وَص ََّّ َیۡنَا ۡ َ فصّٰلہٗ فیۡ عَامَیۡناَناشۡکر عَلّٰیوَہۡنٍ و َ لیۡ وَ لوَالدَیۡک ؕ َ الَی الۡمَصیۡر “ And We have enjoined on man concerning his parents — his mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years — Give thanks to Me and to thy parents. Unto Me is the final return. ” 6. 6 However, obedience in children cannot be commanded; it must be earned, nurtured with love and caring from an early age. Parents of teenagers have to understand that part of the normal growing up process is questioning authority and pushing boundaries and Ahmadi Muslim children are no different. Therefore, Ahmadi Muslim parents