My Mother — Page 10
10 My child had also suffered in a similar manner, but we did not blame Jai Devi in any way. ’ As soon as she finished her remarks she perceived in her dream as if a window had opened on one side. Jai Devi’s face became vis- ible in the window, and she said: ‘This time also if you take your child back alive, deem me not the daughter of a Khatri, but the daughter of a sweeper. ’ This menace terrified her and she woke up in alarm. She noticed that the night light had gone out. She called out to her mother who came and lit the night light, whereupon it was noticed that Rafiq had vomited and purged blood and had become unconscious. His mother was gravely disturbed that if he died away from home his grandfather who had not been willing to let him accompany her would never forgive her, and life at Daska would become a misery for her. She begged her mother that arrangements may be made for her immediate departure for Daska, a twenty-two miles ride across country. Two ponies were saddled and mother and daugh- ter, with Rafiq in the latter’s lap, accompanied by two retainers, set out on their melancholy journey while it was still dark. Presently when it began to be light, Rafiq’s mother perceived that the child was absolutely still and exhibited no sign of life. She understood that he was at his last breath, but she had firm faith that God had power to bestow further life upon him. She threw the reins over the pony’s neck and raised both hands in humble supplication: ‘Lord, Thou knowest well that it is not the prospect of the child’s death that distresses me. If it is Thy will to call him away, I submit humbly to Thy will. What I grieve over is my own future. Should he expire just now there would be no future for me in Daska. Most Merciful One, Thou art the Master of life and death. Hear