Islamic Teachings on Ideal Family Life — Page 37
~ 37 ~ Exemplary Family Ḥ a ḍ rat Sayyidah Nusrat Jahañ Begum ( Ḥ a ḍ rat Amm ā ñ J ā n), wife of Ḥ a ḍ rat Mirz ā Ghul ā m A ḥ mad, the Promised Messiah (peace be on him) gave the following advice to her daughter, Ḥ a ḍ rat Sayyidah Naw ā b Mub ā rakah Begum, at the time of her wedding. • Never do a thing keeping it secret from your husband. Never do anything that you feel the need to hide from your husband! Even if the husband may not be observing, but God does see, and the wife loses her respect when the matter is disclosed at the end. • If a thing is done against his wishes, never try to hide it. Inform him clearly, as that is the way to retain respect. To hide it leads to disgrace and disrespect. • Do not argue with him when he is angry! If he is angry with you or a child or a servant, and you know that he is at fault, even then do not respond to him. When he calms down, then gently let him know the truth and make him realize his error. The woman who argues with her husband when he is angry loses her respect. It will be a great disgrace if he uses harsh words to her in his anger. • Consider his dear ones and their children as your own dear ones. Never think of harming anyone even if he is doing wrong to you. You should have good will in your heart for all, and do not take any action in revenge against anyone. Then you will always behold God doing good to you. (S ī rat Ḥ a ḍ rat Amm ā ñ J ā n, Part II, pp. 167-168, compiled by Ma ḥ m ū d ‘Al ī ‘Irf ā n ī ) The husband should also observe these instructions for promotion of peace and harmony at home.