Garments for Each Other — Page 121
121 The Promised Messiah (as) says that we should employ all apparent physical limbs to fulfil these trusts. It is the duty of every man and woman that they should employ his or her eyes, ears, tongue and every other faculty subservient to the pleasure of Allah. It is seen that the tongue, ears and eyes play a significant role in marital conflicts. Men do not employ them properly and women do not employ them properly. I have mentioned this before that when couples ask for advice, I often say to them that if they use their tongue, ears and eyes properly for each other, their problems would never arise. If gentle and affectionate speech is employed, problems can never arise. Similarly, it has been generally seen, be it men or be it women, it is the tongue that goes on prolonging the conflicts when cases and problems are brought up. A time comes when they make their minds up, or are inclined to make their minds up, that they do not want to be together. Likewise, close your ears to anything said about Rehmi relatives (blood relatives, ties of kinship) on both sides and other such matters, which may cause any kind of resentment between relatives. Sometimes if a person or a party says something wrong, the other also retorts back in kind. If one closes one’s ears for a short time in order to stop conflict, many problems can subside there and then and apart from the problems of habitually quarrelsome men and women, generally, conflicts do not come to pass. Therefore, close your ears and you will have peace. I relate an account, and it is a true account, that a husband and wife were quarrelling while a little girl was watching them in astonishment. A short while later, they both realized the error of their ways and in order to cover their embarrassment, they asked the girl whether her mother and father ever argued or got upset or spoke harshly to each other? The girl replied, “Yes, if my father is angry, my mother stays quiet and if my mother is angry, my father stays quiet and the disagreement does not go any further in our home. ” This is the good influence it can have on children.