Flowers for the Women Wearing Veils - Volume I — Page 180
! ! 180 M ehr Should Absolutely be Accorded Hak ee m Fazl Deen ra , who was among the first and foremost to joi n our community, had two wives. One day , the Promised Messiah as said that mehr is a Shariah mandate and must be given to women. Hak ee m Sahib responded that his wives had exempted him from the payment of their mehr. The Promised Messiah as asked, “Did you place the mehr in their hands and then ask for an exemption?” He replied , “No , Huz oo r, I just mentioned it and they waived it. ” The Promised Messiah as replied that he should first place it in their purse and then ask for a waiver. ( Though , even this is of a lesser standard [in terms of righteousness ] ). In truth, the woman should keep her mehr for at least one year, and only then is it acceptable for her to waive the pay ment if she wishes. The mehr for his two wives was five hundred rupees each. Hak ee m Sahib ra took a loan of one thousand rupees and paid them both their mehr. He then said, “Remember, you exempted me from paying the mehr. So now please return it. ” The wives replied, “How were we to know that you would actually pay our mehr ? A t the time, we said we woul d free you from the obligation, but n ow we will not return it. ” Hak ee m Sahib ra went to the Promised Messiah as and told hi m the whole story about h ow he had taken out a loan to pay his wives their mehr , believing he would receive his money back, but now both had refused him. The Promised Messiah as was very amused to hear this and replied that t his is the correct way. F irst , give your wife her mehr and if after some passage of time, she wishes to excuse you , she can. O therwise , i t would be tantamount to receiving credit for nothing. A woman supposes that she has neither received her meh r and nor will she be given it in the future , so she thinks, ‘Let it be. If he wants me to free him [of the responsibility of giving the m ehr ] , then it is fine as it is a favor I can give him without actually incurring any cost to myself. ’ When a woman receives her mehr and then decides to return it, that is acceptable. Otherwise, even if her mehr is a million rupees but she has not received it , she will forgive it , f or it is not coming out of her own pocket. I t is mere talk, so what is the harm ? Thus , it is essential to give mehr before asking for it to be waived. Again , if this mehr is given to her while she remains un aware of her needs, or when her parents w ish to take it from her, then it is un lawful and is