Flowers for the Women Wearing Veils - Volume I — Page 176
! ! 176 W henever she is in pain or trouble , she immediately calls her parents and confides in them, for she believes that her parents will listen to her , even if no one else will. Therefore , it is important that in matters concerning the girl , her parents ’ own personal consideration s should not interfere with their sympathy, so that in times of trouble they become a refuge for their daughters. Disadvantage s o f Giving the Mehr to Parents at the Time o f Marriage Thus, it is important that the parent ’ s intentions are pure and sincere at the time of marriage. However, if it becomes permissible for them to take the mehr , either partially or in full, then irrespective of moral dictates and Islam ic law or cultural ramifications , the most dangerous consequence would be that the parents would shift their focus from securing the most suitable match for their daughter to finding a match which would result in the most financial gain for them selves. If we suppose that p arents are allowed to accept mehr , t hey will endeavor to marry their daughter in to a family where they can expect to gain the most money, rather than consider ing whether the girl even agrees to the match. Greed would cause them to attempt to marry her to an inappropriate match , rather than an appropriate one. For example, the y might marry her to a rich man who c ould not keep her happy in any circumstance ; where she would find grief rather than solace, pain instead of comfort, and where she would suffer for the rest of her life. A daughter could be persuaded to jump into a well once for her parents but bearing a lifetime of tribulation w ould be intolerable for her. A girl who is the target of her parents’ selfish desires and is married to an unsuitable match will forever be in distress. Due to this incompatibility , her requirements of love, emotions , feelings, needs, and comfort will not be met, and she will consider her life worse than death. Therefore , no girl is willing to tolerate such misery forever , even if she is ready to die for her parents at any given time.