Domestic Issues and Their Solutions — Page 241
241 other faculty by making them subservient to the pleasure of Allah the Exalted. It is seen that the tongue, ears and eyes play a significant role in marital conflicts. Men do not employ them properly and women do not empl oy them properly. I have mentioned this before that when couples ask for advice, I often say to them that if they use their tongue, ears and eyes properly for each other, their problems would never arise. If gentle and affectionate speech is employed, prob lems can never arise. Similarly, it has been generally seen, when cases and problems are brought up, be it men or be it women, it is the tongue that goes on prolonging the conflicts. A time comes when they make their minds up or are inclined to make their minds up that they do not want to be together. Likewise, shut your ears to things about close familial ( رحمی rehmi ) ties on both sides and other such matters by paying ear to wh ich there is a likelihood of some kind of resentment. Sometimes if a person or a party says something wrong, the other also retorts back in kind. If one shuts one’s ears for a short time in order to stop conflict, many problems can subside there and then and apart from the problems of habitually quarrelsome men and women, generally c onflicts do not come to pass. Therefore, shut your ears and you will come in peace. I relate an account and it is a true account that a husband and wife were quarrelling while a little girl was watching them in astonishment. A short while later, they both realised